as you are when you’ve put one contact lens in and the second one falls into the sink. You can’t do anything. You’re still too blind to see the one you lost (because your eye hasn’t gotten used to the foreign body), you don’t want to go and take the one you just put in out again so you can out on your glasses to find the one you dropped. It is the most tragic situation, y’all and I’m in it on a bi-weekly basis.
Mit dem Edikt von Potsdam gewährte Friedrich Wilhelm von Brandenburg Religionsfreiheit, Ausstattung mit Garten, Haus und Ackerland, Berufsfreiheit, eigenes Schulwesen, eigene Rechtsprechung und volle Steuerfreiheit auf etliche Jahre. Aus heutiger Sicht eine völlig inakzeptable Privilegierung einer bestimmten Migrantengruppe, die sicherlich auch nicht auf das Jahr 2010 übertragbar ist. Ich erwähne sie trotzdem, um eines klarzumachen: Was für ein Glück für Deutschland und für Thilo Sarrazin, dass die Hugenotten auf einen klugen Kurfürsten und nicht auf einen zornigen alten Mann getroffen sind.” —Tarek Al-Wazir, Der Spiegel (35/2010) - Oh Snap!
And I found this bonbon wrapped in silver foil, no print on it. And I ate it because… it’s a bonbon. And it’s delicious! It’s minty and sweet but not too sweet and there’s something else in it and honey and I think eucalyptus. It’s most likely a cough-candy** but it was a loose piece in the drawer and I have no idea what brand it is. This means I have to try all the brands until I find the right one.
I’m just like the prince in Cinderella.
* It’s pretty big. You’d be jealous.
** Is that an English word?
Are you having fun yet, rallying up against a muslims, spreading hate, being islamophobic? Do you want to do more of that? Yes? Do you want to know where to find likeminded spiteful fearmongers? I’ll show you where to find them and have fun at the same time! The FPÖ Styria invented a great new game, called “Moschee baba”, aka “Bye Bye Mosque”. That’s up your alley, right? A computer game whose goal it is to shoot mosques, minarets and brown, bearded people! With lovely folk music playing in the background! Awesome!
But oh no! Those damn liberals of the Green Party have reported it as being hate speech already.
An afterlife where there’s a space for good people and for bad people (You can call it heaven and hell if you want. Or whatever.) just so I can say: “FUCKING CUNT-ASSED BIKE-THIEF! You’re going to pay for this! You’re going to die and then you’re going to a place where there’s only really gross food and there’s always sleety weather and there’s a Hoobastank CD on repeat and you’re getting whipped ALL THE FUCKING TIME! Unless you’re into that! Because bike thieves are the worst kind of people and you deserve ALL THE PAIN IN THE UNIVERSE!”
Believing any of that shit would be nice right now.
My mothers and my bike are usually parked in front of the door, in the yard, locked up. They were there yesterday and now they’re gone. I thought somebody might’ve put them to the side because they’re in the way but… they’re nowhere. In none of the garages, not inside, nowhere.
The gate to the house is often opened because those fucking lazy-ass car drivers are incapable of getting off their asses to close the gate once they’re seated behind the wheel, so often enough, any stranger can go into the court. If some asshole stole my bike I hope it’s taking them a long ass time to discover that they stole a bike with a flat tyre. My mothers bike is in perfect condition, however.
I’m not 100% sure they were stolen because the Crazy Man/Our Enemy in the house is crazy enough to hide them somewhere.
People that have really generic names and plan to do something outstanding in their life should all get pseudonyms, for the sake of future generations. Future generations writing about the state of popular music at the turn of the millennium will not know which Paul Banks played in which band.
Lil Jon did the right thing. He avoided being confused with the millions of other John Smithes by calling himself Lil Jon. That way he can’t even be confused with Little John.
Combined with my inability to remember names of people whose face I haven’t seen, led me o the wikipedia entry for “Turner”. The “notable individuals” with the last name Turner are sorted alphabetically rather than chronologically, which would make much more sense.
I had an inkling that the painter I was trying to remember might be William Turner but then I thought I’m mixing it up with Pirates of The Caribbean. I wasn’t. They just gave Orlando Bloom the same name as the painter. It then turned out that there are two painters named William Turner - living at almost the same time - and the one I meant was J.M.W. Turner, the more famous one.
Generic names and searching for people with generic names have made my life so much harder.
- I went to bed because I was cold
- My mother turned on the heating
- I’m wearing wool tights
- I’m sniffly
- FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL SEASON!
- Has the person I know, the one that slept in Jarvis Cockers bed, bathed me as a baby?
- Would Jarvis Cocker let me stay at his house for a month to let me sort his records while he does whatever he does and in the evening we go down to a pub?
One of my mothers closest friends has a friend whose husband went to school with Jarvis Cocker and this couple is living in his house in London. Jarvis Cocker keeps to one room because he’s in Paris most of the time. This friend of my mother slept in Jarvis Cockers bed! She didn’t really knew who he was so her friend gave her an article about him and she read it while laying on the bed and she looked at the photo and she looked to her right and saw the pants he was wearing and the shoes he was wearing in that photo shoot. She slept in Jarvis Cockers bed, who, let’s all remember this, isn’t Jesus but has the same initials.
I know stuff now, y’all! It’s kinda filthy there. There are mountains of unsorted records. When my mother’s friends friend wants to change something about the filthy status of the house (they have two small children), Jarvis Cocker says: “Nah. It’s alright, innit?”